Sunday, May 8, 2011

Just for Laughs




Ever wonder...

 Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?



Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?



Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?



Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight? 
 



Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?



Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?



Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?



Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?




Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?




Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!



Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?




Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



  

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?


Friday, May 6, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!








What is a Mother?

    A Mother has so many things to do, From washing, ironing, cleaning to tying a shoe. She scrubs, she mends, she cooks and sews, She bathes the children and washes their clothes. When they forget to wash their faces clean, And their clothes are the muddiest you've ever seen, Who repairs the clothes and scrubs them like new? Of course, that is what a Mother will do. Who becomes the doctor or the nurse when they are ill, Applying a bandage or giving them a pill? Who becomes a teacher when a child has homework? She must never her duty shirk. Who becomes a detective to find a toy or a book? For missing things she must look and look? Who becomes a listener to every heartache, To every accomplishment that a child makes?Who scolds their children when they are naughty, Or remind them of God when they are to haughty? Who tends her family with love and patience, too?  Of course that is what a mother will do.  - Unknown